Sometimes no super glue helps for the broken pieces of life, but perhaps a drop of honesty.
The silence thundered impossibly loud in Liz’s ears, her heart pumped furious heat and bottomless shame through her body with each successive beat, and still no one said anything. For those vulnerable seconds, everyone was silent and the hateful words were able to sink deeper and deeper into the minds of those present. The silence was like a bottomless infinity.
He had cheated on her with her sister, he had stolen their joint savings and he had fathered a child. Not only had Alec done these things to her – now he was here to destroy her new life as well.
Congratulations, he had just done that.
“Liz?!” An uncertain voice finally tore through the silent veil and she slowly turned her head. Standing in the middle of a million shambles were Chris and Sue. The metaphor could hardly be more figurative.
“Liz, tell me this isn’t true,” Sue demanded, her voice breaking. Comfortingly, Chris put an arm around her shoulders, the silly stuffed animal – a cow in a spacesuit – pressed against him. His sad and confused look struck Liz deeply.
Yet she found no words to explain, after all, it was all a huge disaster. Alec had cheated on her, she in turn had not come clean with her new friends and had also allowed Sue to get involved with an asshole like him. Liz felt no better than her ex. And the fact that Liz didn’t reject Alec’s closeness in weak moments… also made her a cheater somehow.
Her lips parted, trying to explain herself, but Chris merely shook his head. “Save it, Liz.” were his harsh words. “You know, Sue and I aren’t stupid. We could very well tell there was something going on between you two.” He looked accusingly back and forth between Alec and her. “We didn’t know what it was, but we were just hoping that we were good enough friends for you to simply tell us eventually.”
Sue now buried her face against Chris’s arm and sobbed heartbreakingly. Being let down like that by her first crush and her friend had to hurt like hell. “You could have just said something. But you push away everyone who wants anything good for you.” Chris’s words were unrelenting and he was right. “How long would this have gone on? Until you cheat on me too?” He was snorting angrily now, emotions buzzing like taut wire in the air. “And you?!” Bewilderment reflected in Chris’s gaze as he looked at Alec. “What kind of person are you to do such a thing?”
“Stepsister.” A blink, a second, before Liz turned her head to him at Alec’s retort. “And it was just a kiss, nothing more.” She hadn’t even noticed that he had gotten out of the water and was now standing beside her, dripping.
“It doesn’t matter if she’s my stepsister, my cousin, my best friend or a complete stranger,” Liz hissed, deeply hurt. “And it wasn’t just a kiss! Cheating is cheating and in this case it even made for a bun in the oven!”
“What are you all still doing here?” Before the situation could escalate any further, a planetarium employee entered the room with the mirror lake. “We have been closed for a few minutes. Please proceed to the exit immediately!” Fortunately, the pile of shards on the floor distracted him well enough not to see Alec’s wet legs.
Liz wrapped herself in angry silence and Alec in scowling stares. Chris whispered comforting words at Sue, who sniffled heartbreakingly. Once outside, her still-boyfriend pressed the stuffed animal into Liz’s hand. This was exactly how she felt now: Like a stupid cow you’d like to shoot to the moon.
“Get back to me when you know what – or who – you want,” were his last words before he left and hopefully got poor Sue home safely.
Alec was about to open his mouth to say something, but Liz only raised her finger threateningly. “Don’t you dare! Look what you’ve done!” Her voice was more like a death threat before she left him standing there without a second thought. She was actually considering whether to run home or move to the end of the world.
–––
Two weeks of self-pity were finally enough. Liz had decided to stop vegetating and proactively take care of the mess that her life had become. She even wrote herself a rebuilding plan.
Step one: Get Auntie out of the house. She couldn’t resist a voucher for sushi and Liz would have space she wanted.
Step two: Ask Chris and Sue to visit her with dachshund eyes. Her own silence had caused this drama in the first place, so maybe talking would finally help her out of this predicament.
Step three: Peace and happiness. Or at least scrambled eggs. The past two weeks had been really hard on her. Even if Liz didn’t want to admit to needing someone, but would much rather be independent and free, two good friends weren’t so wrong after all.
For that very reason, she was now trotting up and down the living room while Chris and Sue made themselves comfortable on the couch. Well, cosy was relative, because the disapproving looks and the cool politeness spoke volumes.
“First of all, I’m sorry. Really, really sorry.” Liz opened her solemn apology, pausing in her trotting. “I was overwhelmed with breaking up with Alec, wanting to make a fresh start here and then suddenly you two came into my life.” She ran her hand over her face in agitation and smiled despondently.
Sue looked down at the floor and Chris sighed. “Liz, it’s not only pretty clear that you haven’t forgotten about Alec yet.” His male pride certainly looked a little bruised. “It’s also that you’re completely misinterpreting friendship. It’s not easy watching you suffer and I’m going to break Alec’s nose for this one.” Before Chris would set it straight again being the good Samaritan he was. “But you have to tell us things like that.”
“It’s really not easy.” Sue now also spoke up with her tender voice. “I mean… I had feelings for someone who did this to my friend. It’s tearing me up inside.” She hugged a pillow with her arms. “And at the same time, I’m very hurt that you didn’t tell us all this and that you didn’t warn me about him.” There was hopeless confusion on each of their faces. “I feel bad because I made out with him and it must have hurt you, but at the same time I’m really mad at you.” They were both completely right on all counts, they knew that and Liz knew that.
“I thought if I just didn’t bring it up, everything would be fine. That he’d leave again eventually and go study somewhere else.” A mirthless and bitter laugh came from Liz. “In hindsight, I also realise the mistake in that and how stupid that naive notion was.” She had rarely reacted more stupidly. “But it’s not just that I’m angry with him. Shame has also kept me from telling you. I was ashamed that this had happened.”
After all, she had spent several years with Alec and yet seemed to have known him so little in the end. And her sister? It was sad that Liz had to tolerate such betrayal from her own family.
“I’m really sorry, I wish I could tell past-Lizzy how mindlessly she will choose.”
Now a laugh rang out from Chris for the first time and it definitely lightened the situation a little. “You wouldn’t say that, you’d rather rip your own head off.” Okay, she deserved that retort and at least it made Sue laugh too.
Exhausted, Liz dropped into the chair opposite the couch. Her aunt had a penchant for patchwork quilts and that’s how her life felt right now. A string of different sections, some bright and full of joy, others dark, gloomy and sad.
“Can we please be friends again? Without you, all I can do is whine to myself about how exhausting studying is and how much Alec is getting on my nerves.” Another round of dachshund eyes and the corners of Sue’s mouth twitched in restraint of another laugh.
“I’ll do anything you want too. Buy you lunch for a week and stop looking for logic flaws in Finding Nemo. And by the way, yes, Finding Dory is even worse.”
Sue flew into Liz’s arms, which she guessed was a yes. “I also promise not to snog him or gush about him any more,” Sue vowed meekly and Liz patted her gently on the back. Yes, that was probably for the best too, because Liz wouldn’t be able to stand anything else.
“I don’t feel like playing substitute for you.” Chris’s voice was more serious again, as was his expression. Sue let go of her friend and plopped down in the chair beside her and they both looked questioningly at the third in the group. “So I think the best thing is for us to split up for good.”
Slowly but understandingly, Liz nodded. If she was finally honest with herself, she did like Chris, but just not enough. “I’m sorry, I really thought…”
He merely waved it off. “I may not fancy a replacement relationship, but I do fancy being your friend.” Now he did wrestle a smile from himself. “With no special privileges, of course.”
Once again Chris proved his lovelyness and maturity. Liz would probably never be able to be friends with someone with whom a relationship hadn’t worked out.
“You’re such a better person than I am,” she confessed, amazed yet grateful. “Thank you.” She looked again at Sue beside her. “Both of you.”
For a few beautiful moments, the chaos inside Liz was fine and calm descended. She didn’t feel whole, but she didn’t feel as broken as before either. As if at least a few splinters of her heart had been put back in place.
“So what are you going to do about Alec?”, Sue’s question shattered the silence. “Well I mean… he doesn’t seem like he’ll give up just like that.”
Rigorously, Liz shook her head. “No, he won’t get any more attention from me in the future. He almost cost me your friendship! And now that you know the truth, he can’t force his way into our trio.”
“And you’re really sure about all this? After all, he seems to see it all pretty different.” Chris immediately raised his hands defensively as Liz’s gaze met his. “Yes, yes all right, it’s your business. But listening to what he has to say wouldn’t hurt either.”
He was leaning back in the couch now, stretching his long legs and running his hands through his blonde hair. In another life, things could have really worked out between Liz and him. “I’m just saying.”
Once again Liz shook her head. “No, that went out the window when he got a little too close with my sister.” The understatement of the millennium. “And I-” An unsurprising ring at the door interrupted her reply. Liz’s aunt was a scatterbrain. She’d probably forgotten her keys again and was back from lunch.
“Excuse me for a moment.” Liz crossed the living room and opened the door with a knowing smile. “Well, did I overpromise with the best sushi in town?”
The grin on her lips died as quickly as the rest of the words in her throat. Gravity and temperature must have doubled in that second, because Liz’s mouth flipped open and wouldn’t close. Simultaneous angry heat began setting her skin on fire.
“Hello Lisbeth.” the familiar voice greeted, coming from an even more familiar figure. But something was missing.
Maybe it was time to talk to Alec after all.